A blog for the New Zealand creative advertising industry, now at www.campaignbrief.com/nz. Email news to: michael@campaignbrief.com

Monday, October 31, 2005

What did we ever do before the NZ Creative Circle blog?

We were pretty happy really. Sure, we liked a bit of gossip (this is
advertising after all.) We enjoyed Fastline every Thursday, even if
Gapsey did get it all a bit wrong. Bit of harmless fun.

But now, it's different. The gloves are off. We've got 'death by
blog', as Neil French so eloquently put it. It's just great, isn't
it. All the low achievers amongst us now have the perfect vehicle to
vent their bitterness 24/7. What fun. And better still, no one need
ever know who the authors really are - obviously some cowardly second
rate hack working in a dead end agency with no talent, just a
festering sack of potatoes on their shoulder - because, and this is
the genius part, they get to sign off their nasty little diatribes
with the word 'anonymous'! Or, just to stoop that little bit lower,
they use some well-known creative's name. Genius!

Don't agree? Well, imagine then that you're someone who's never
worked in the industry, but you were keen to and you stumbled across
this site thinking you might actually learn something about the noble
craft of advertising (it is called 'NZ Creative Circle, after all).
What, do you suppose, might your first impressions of New Zealand
creatives be?

Sad cunts?

For fear of some horribly bigoted backlash,


Pardon Jeneal's French

Jeneal Rohrback serves it back to Neil French in a lengthy Campaign Brief
blog post today. NZcreative circle is negotiating the rights to serialise
her response over the Xmas holiday period.

NZ Suitcircle apology

Sorry to any of you who tried to visit our site after reading about it in
Fastline. We did have a lunch meeting in the small boardroom last week to
discuss the contents of the second post, and we were really quite excited
about it, but when we to post someone hit the wrong button and deleted the
blog completely. So, ah, yeah. We're going to have another meeting about a
new blog with a new name, because we can't have the old one any more. We'll
keep you in the loop. (If you want to be in on our fax updates, leave your
number in the comments.)

The suits

Businesses that went out of business

Today is the day (31st October) to salute those advertising
businesses that have gone out of business. These range from
Walkers (which had a mad person running the business) to
McCarthy Moon (which spend all their money on client
lunches). God bless 'em.

Export Gold Thirstbusters

Hmmmmm. Did this leave anyone else with a dry mouth?

Friday, October 28, 2005

Make my boss pay

I'm interested to know if I'm up to par with my current salary. Can you guys
please (anonymously or not) post your level of experience and your current

For example, I'm a junior with roughly three years in an agency earning

I anticipate countless sarcastic and cynical responses but the occasional
serious one would be useful.


Need more speed? Get Xtra Broadband @

Even bigger and redder!

Congratulations to Colenso.99 for their Effies Best of Show winning
campaign, The Famers Even Bigger Red Dot Sale, the most effective advertising
campaign of 2004.

Faced with ever-increasing competition and clutter in the retail environment, and the temptation to go with orange or yellow, Farmers stuck to their guns and made those dots bigger and redder. Proof to the naysayers that nothing beats red, and there's still plenty of mileage in dots. Look
out for a rash of copyists.

Ex-adschool student does industry invites to Axis-student show

Well done to Ben Pegler, Saatchis.

Walkers Alumni?

A casual get together for former Walkers staffers tonight at Coco Bar in
Fort Lane from 6pm. Entrance is free but restricted to first 1000.

Be nice to your suits today

They are recovering from a huge night at the Effies. Historically, this is
regarded as a great chance to get a nice big free lunch at Prego.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Why is this whole site filled with comments from people that want to remain anonymous?


Worst NZ ad of the past decade.

Nominations are being taken now!!!

Who did that Suzuki Brand Ad?

It's the woefully produced rip-off of the Mitsubishi 'Dreamers Disease' ad done a few years ago (not by us, by the way).


Scott McMillan


Production Director / Creative Services
Clemenger House, 8 Kent Terrace,

Wellington, New Zealand.

Phone: 0064 4 802 3333

Mobile: 0064 21 481 901 



Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Post it up front

Everyone seems to be getting the hang of the creative circle blog now, it's averaging over 300 visitors a day and the number of posts and comments have picked up hugely recently. However a lot of really good stuff has got buried deep in comments threads. If you've got something really juicy or worthy or fresh, it's easiest to put it on the front page as a new post - follow the instructions above.

The Publishers

Mok in at FCB

James Mok has been officially anointed CD of FCB. He is probably cringing about the fawning press release, but then that's PR, eh. ( Full release posted in comments under original Maisey/Baylis story below)

Rude Ads

Can anyone thinks of examples of NZ ads featuring full or partial or implied

AWARD night

Some of you will have your invite to AWARD in the post. The theme is...
wait for it... "Award-wide world of Wrestling". Wacky stuff. New Zealand
will be officially represented as usual by the Herald dancers.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Creative Circle Exclusive

NZ Creative Circle's Foreign Correspondent Lynchy surveys the state of female creativity in this country, under the comments section in French story below. A useful read.

Monday, October 24, 2005

French fucks himself

WPP's worldwide CD Neil French has resigned following misogynistic remarks to an audience in Canada. When asked why so few women became CDs French said it is because they don't deserve to, "because they are crap". Expanding on this, he explained that they "wimped out due to the need to go and suckle something". French claims the reference was out of context. He referred to his resignation as "Death by Blog". Surely there must be some mistake. This after all is the same man who allegedly owned a multi-story brothel when he was based in Asia.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

N&O Saatchi

M&C Saatchi has confirmed the appointment of Nick Baylis as CEO and Oliver Maisey as Executive Creative Director. Both will have equity in the agency and start there in the New Year.

Campaign Brief's Michael Lynch says the move does not affect the role of Rob Jack, who continue as Auckland CD, and will report to Maisey. The latter will be working with Baylis to expand the business in both Auckland and Wellington (where M&C has a small office).

Friday, October 21, 2005

Maisey and Bayliss leave FCB for M&C ?

This was the press release, in part, from FCB:

"FCB New Zealand today announced that CEO Nick Baylis has resigned. According to Brian van den Hurk, General Manager of FCB New Zealand, ³Nick feels that he has accomplished what he set out to do and he is ready to move on. We have already commenced a search for a replacement...

Other changes at FCB include the departure of Creative Director Oliver
Maisey, though the strong creative capability at the agency remains
unchanged as FCB boasts eight creative teams which include three of New
Zealand¹s more experienced creatives, James Mok, Murray Watt and Matt

Fastline's Ed says they've gone to M&C Saatchi.

Fuck Focus groups - get ready for Neuroimaging

Apparently the next big thing in research is scanning to see how the brain
lights up when exposed to a certain idea or brand or person or whatever.
This was tested during the last US Presidential election when Bush and Kerry
supporters were scanned to see how their brains reacted to ads. There should
be a joke at this point, but unfortunately it's true.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Very quiet today

Everyone must be hard at work on client Christmas cards.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Stat you?

Gavin and Maggie have got their one tonne bronze Paul Dibble sculpture back
after a clandestine meeting with enterprising/blackmailing middlemen at a
cemetery on the Kapiti coast. Gav, Saatchi Wellington to the grave, said
they were elated, it felt like winning Lotto. And they would know.

Kiwis in Caxtons and Caxtons in Queenstown?

From the Campaign Brief blog:

"The Caxtons could be in Queenstown, New Zealand next year with the Kiwis
allowed to enter the awards for the first time in its 31 year history, if
Caxton chairman Tom Moult has his way. Moult says there are a few hurdles to
go with the newspaper sponsors, but hopefully that should be sorted out at
their next meeting in November. Almost every creative director in NZ
contacted by CB is looking forward to competing in the Caxtons - especially
if the awards gets points in the CB Creative Rankings, as will be the case.
And, according to Saatchi NZ ECD, Mike O'Sullivan, there's no better place
to host the Caxtons than Queenstown."

Wong Kam's Arse

We're sorry to report that DDB's Darran Wong Kam has got the turd flu. You know, bum wees. It's not pretty, and he's resting at home. Wellwishers may call him on 021443365. We hope he has a speedy recovery and is soon as full of shit as ever.

------ End of Forwarded Message

Londondinium agencies

Attached for all concerned as a post should be all (most) of
the London ad agencies with contact details. Just a help to
anyone who's going to go over and make the bigtime in the

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Anonymity is good for honesty

Yes it's a tiny industry. Controlled by a powerful few. Staffed by people
who are obliged to toe the party line. Informed by tightly controlled PR.
All the more need for a forum where people can say what they think without
being fucked up the arse for thinking it.

A. Nonymous.

Grumpy of Hardy's Bay writes

Careful, all you anonymous ones. Without the trade press, who would know or
care about any of you sods, or your ads, or your awards, or who you were
seen with at lunch? No one would care, except the likes of Gapes and Lynchy.
Without AdMedia, your industry would be much poorer, and like you,
anonymous. You'd be totally lost without it. As CB is also getting slagged,
I have to point out a few things in our defence: Without CB, for example,
there would be no Kiwis invited to judge international awards like D&AD,
Cannes and Clio. And even your jury quota at AWARD was increased
considerably because of CB. (Although I suspect most of the anonymous ones
are even more pissed off, as their sort are never invited to judge overseas
shows. Or to the next CB Legendary Lunch for that matter, on December 8 at
Rocco's). Anyway, apologies for being grumpy, it's a wet day in Hardy's


More scandal please

And preferably with pictures.

The last great pun

So when was the last great headline pun in advertising? One that may
even have won...an award?

Starters for ten;

"Out of the flying plane and into the foyer"

"Now is the winter of our discount tents"

"Flys pray"

Any advance on those?


The views and opinions expressed on this blog are not necessarily those of
the people expressing them.

(Or if they are, then Jesus there are some bitchy fuckers out there)

580 odd visitors yesterday though, so what works for the tabloids works for

Please keep it above the belt ( or at least outside the pants) and let's
have a new topic.

The Publishers

Monday, October 17, 2005

AdMedias mint, in packet

We have 10 or 11 copies of October's AdMedia, still in their plastic. Any
takers? Or should I put them on Trade Me.

( NB: These are all bundled with a free copy of Grill Magazine)

Once upon a time...

It's a lovely spring day, the sun's shining, you're young, you're a student team , you've got a placement at a big agency, the birds are chirping and
THEN SOMEONE WHO SHOULD KNOW BETTER STEALS YOUR IDEA AND CLAIMS IT'S THEIRS, and then you get another placement at a bigger agency, the grass is green, the water's warm etc.

Things can turn on you really quickly...

Friday, October 14, 2005

In the beginning...

In the beginning, before Consortium Auckland, before O&M Singapore, there was the original multi-awarded God campaign in the USA, which was featured on the CB netsite during Cannes 2001 just as O&M were collecting their two Gold Lions, and in CB Asia just after Cannes. (Which caused all sorts of squirming denials by the O&M creatives involved, including Andy Greenaway, Neil French, Eugene Cheong and Ng Pei Pei).


Saatchi champagne pops heard as far away as Hawkes Bay

True, even heard it in Sydney. Heard Mike O, Toby and the gang have opened a few bottles of bubbly at the agency. Not a bad outcome and testament to Mike O, who (I heard) inherited a client that was on the way out the door. And well done to TVNZ for giving Saatchi a chance to come good.


From Ed at Fastline

Again, in the finest traditions of muckraking journalism etc etc etc ... we
bring you today's rumour:

Saatchi & Saatchi has retained the TVNZ business. Strictly unofficial (an
official statement is due later today) but that's the word on the streets.


This Fastline service sponsored by <http://www.nzherald.co.nz
<http://www.nzherald.co.nz/> >, NZ's #1 news website.


Everyone is loving the Consortium Godmarks campaign at the
moment. I did too until I saw this campaign that won
multiple Gold lions in 2001.

Um, go to this site and scroll down. It's identical in
humour, tone, art direction, everything.


The New Zealand Advertising XV

Who would you select for NZ's all-time Dream Team in the World Cup of Advertising, if you could choose from any players past and present? Post your chosen names ( first initial and surname only please) along with their specialist position. You may enter as many times as you like. Players need not be NZ nationals. Other conditions apply.

(with apologies to John Clarke)

Thursday, October 13, 2005

What the fuck's up with Frank ditching Kiwibank?

They've only got two paying clients left and one of them is the Te Aro
fruit shop.

This transmission is confidential and intended
solely for the person or organization to whom
it is addressed. It may contain privileged and
confidential information. If you are not the
intended recipient, you should not copy,
distribute or take any action in reliance on it.

If you have received this transmission in error,
please notify the sender at the e-mail address above.

A blog just for suits

nzcreativecircle contributors have heard a few whimpers from colleagues in the account husbandry department wanting to know why it's just a creative circle and why didn't anyone invite them. Especially after that really big lunch at Prego the other week that went on the job.

Well - fair enough. A tailormade blogsite: nzsuitcircle.blogspot.com

Welcome to the Mobius Awards!!!

The Mobius Advertising Awards was founded in 1971 in Chicago, Illinois, USA,as The U.S. Television Commercials Festival. The festival soon added Radio, Print and Package Design to its competition and took its current name.

The competition provides an international forum through which advertising agencies, producers, art directors and designers, TV and radio stations as well as corporate advertisers can attain recognition for creative endeavors.

The Mobius name and shape is derived from a scientifically puzzling
discovery of a German scientist in the last century. A "Mobius" is like a
strip of paper that when twisted once and joined at the ends presents a
single edge and a single face reversing themselves and continuing
indefinitely. Thus, the Mobius Statuette is a three-dimensional version of a
Mobius strip.

Corporate headquarters are now in Redondo Beach, California, USA.

We invite your participation in our yearly international competition.

Online, Television, Radio, Print, Direct, Outdoor,
Package Design, Cinema/Inflight, Mixed Media
New Student entry opportunity

35th MOBIUS Advertising Awards
Call for Entries
Deadline October 1, 2005

Late entries accepted after October 1st deadline with Late Fee.


There is a lot less cocaine in advertising today compared to
ten years ago.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Someone counts TV craft finalists so Josh doesn't have to

AWARD TV craft finalists attributed to NZ production outfits*:

Silverscreen 5
Film Construction 1
Liquid 1

In addition there were 2 music finalists entered by Clems and P.Mojo. Please visit awardonline.com and assemble your own definitive list of finalists.

*Note: This may exclude some trans-tasman work done by NZ craftspeople for Australian clients as AWARD's entry detail is pretty sketchy.

This table is intended as a guide only. Actual finalists may differ from those shown. Contents may settle during shipping. We apologise if due to
previous passenger selection your chosen award is not available.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Someone counts AWARD finalists so you don't have to.

It's a bit of a mind-fuck trying to add this up correctly but, here appears
to be a scorecard :

Clemenger BBDO      6
Colenso BBDO        17
DDB New Zealand     9
MTC                 10
Publicis Mojo       11
Saatchi & Saatchi   15
WRC                 1

Note:   We have not included any external craft categories like photography,
illustration or original music entered by the agency.

Please feel free to count 'em yourself and post corrections.


------ End of Forwarded Message

AWARD finalists finally online at awardonline.com

A slither it is.

Thanks for your entries. The anonymous jury looking at collective nouns
liked "a slither of suits" best, closely followed by "an apology of suits".
In third place was "a lie of suits".

NZ Post stamps ad

Q. Why did the guy go to the trouble of mailing a letter when he could have popped it in the letterbox in the middle of night, as he only lives across the street?

Oh yeah, and he must have pretty awesome eyesight to see the bikers looking at him through their window.

A. Pedant

Muppets support Canteen Bandana Week Oct 10 - 16th

Come and support Bandana Week

Play it now with your RealPlayer:

Note: This content may require the latest RealPlayer, which is not
available on Windows 95, Mac OS9 or Linux systems.

Saturday, October 08, 2005


Ex-Saatchi Wellington CD Gavin Bradley and Maggie Mout are fuming after very organised thieves stole a huge Paul Dibble bronze from outside their Kapiti Coast restaurant. Bradley said it was worth hundreds of thousands of dollars and the police think it's likely to be melted for scrap.

Friday, October 07, 2005


As is always the case with award juries they say finalists
will be released on one date and then keep on dragging it on
before they eventually release them. Such is the case with
AWARD. It's like delaying Christmas until the 29th December
because Santa can't be buggered getting out of bed.

AWARD Finalists

Will be posted on awardonline.com October 5. Oh, right, it's October 7
already. Any day now then.

oops...now it's Saturday October 8 and they're still not posted. Oh well.
Deadlines schmedlines.

Are you ready to show your class?

Submit your thoroughbred, top class ideas for the New Zealand Direct
Marketing Awards 2005.

If you want to show the punters your form, and better your odds in helping
to bring clients to the door, now's your chance. Make sure you enter the

Entries for the RSVP and NEXUS Awards must be received by 5.00pm, Friday 21
October 2005 (which means there is just over 2 weeks left).

Kind regards

Keith Norris
Chief Executive (keith@marketing.org.nz)

Email from the the cunningly renamed Marketing Association ( they dropped the direct bit, cunning eh? ) and an opportunity to remind you that if you drop Keith an email directly you can ask to have your home address removed from their database so you aren't bothered by cunning unsolicited addressed direct marketing ever again.

A lot of you have probably been working on this.

------ Forwarded Message
From: "David Gapes" <David@Profile.co.nz>
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Subject: Fastline update #596

In the finest traditions of irresponsible journalism, we bring you this new rumour ...

... the winner (of the Tourism NZ) pitch seems to be Assignment/JWT.


------ End of Forwarded Message

Someone reads the paper so you don't have to Part 2

> In part 2 of NBR's superficial look at advertising CDs they concentrate on second-hand imports. We learn Mike O* is Irish and used to work in the UK. As indeed did Toby Talbot*. Richard Maddocks* is apparently from Australia. Jeneal*and Tom Eslinger* are from America. Nick Worthington (42) is still astonished NZ can make popular and award-winning ads for $20,000. Sion Scott-Wilson (41)single-handedly saved the creative rep of Asian advertising. Oliver Maisey (39)likes NZ, as does Paul Catmur (46), who also likes fishing. Andy Blood (38)introduces us to a new word, Kiasu - which is Hokkein for winning at all costs. And last but by no means least, Todd McCracken (19) has over 230 international and national awards to his credit and is the youngest CD ever in the history of the world.

* age not provided in article.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

A ........ of suits

What is the collective noun for (a group of) suits?

The Michael Lynch Appreciation Society

I just became a member. I thought you might too.


-Pink Grease

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

gulfstream V

Bombardier learjet sony marc jacobs tsubi nudie breitling Prius brioni google the muppets campaignbrief virgin upperclass qantas sir mick jagger jlo brad pitt hiphop botox krumping chanel iPod cristal krug carlton draught fuckhollywood george bush euro katrina glue society pod cast ronnie barker.

yours sincerely nzcreativecircle.blogspot.com newmedia planning dept.

Yeah right

Lynchy replies, on the comments page:

"Lynchy here. Yeah, as we are almost sister blogs, thought it might
be good to keep some consistency (and also, if it works for you, it
must for us). By the way, talking about originality, in CB magazine,
our NZ Creative Circle has been going since 1998. Before NZ came on
board, Creative Circle has been going since 1988. Although Creative
Circle (UK) is the real original"

nzcreativeciurcle says " yeah well, the nz creative circle was a local club of sorts which used to organise functions and do a bit of mentoring from the mid 80's. It had a red square as a logo, which was very creative at the time. This blog is the 2005 version. I think these sorts of things have been called circles for quite a while, I think my Grandma belonging to a knitting circle before WW2, the big one."

The Bikini Bandits and the Curse of the Pirates Booty Plunders¹s Raindance Film Festival

Curious Film and ad agency Gyro Worldwide are poised to create sheer havoc at the Raindance Film Festival in London this week when they debuts the trailer for “The Bikini Bandits and the Curse of the Pirates Booty”, The full film, which clocks in at 100 minutes long, is slated for a summer 2006 release and the early buzz says it’s worth the wait.
Half-animated and half live-action, the soon-to-be international cult classic was shot on location in Philadelphia, Hollywood, and New Zealand as a co-production of F-Hollywood Productions, & Curious Film. Curious producers Matt Noonan and Mei-Ling Wong are currently working with  F- Hollywood and GYRO Worldwide to complete the film for its 2006 release. Of particular interest:

            * A whole slew of rockers have attached themselves to the project, including Maynard James Keenan (Tool), G Love, Pete Shelley and Steve Diggle (The Buzzcocks), Mitch Harris (Napalm Death), Cheetah Chrome (Dead Boys), Captain Sensible (The Damned), Turbonegro, The Donnas, Ivan Meadows (Runninghouse) and Theo Kogan (Lunachicks).

            * Get ready for some fresh faces: the film features all new girls who have been featured in Penthouse, Maxim, Stuff and FHM. Other girls have been featured in the Hip Hop Honeys video, adult film stars Belladonna and Tera Patrick make an appearance and, last but not least Valentina Vaughn (nominated Penthouse Pet of the Year). Yowza!

            * Curious director Miki Magasiva directed parts of the film in New Zealand. Principal photography was shot in Philadelphia with additional scenes at Maynard’s house in Hollywood, CA.
            * The film is a unique technical collaboration, which uses 2-D flash characters and 3-D rendered backgrounds and effects to create a new look that has never been seen in the world of animation.
            * The theme song for the movie was written and recorded by Curious house-band, Runninghouse, whose bassist Ivan Meadows (a.k.a. Peter Grasse) is an associate producer at Curious Film and also appears in the movie as himself.

The Trailer can be viewed at:

For more information on the entire Bikini Bandits empire, visit www.bikinibandits.com <http://www.bikinibandits.com> and catch up on the madness and mayhem of the ever-growing Bikini Bandits series: “The Bikini Bandits Experience” (with Corey Feldman, Maynard James Keenan, Dee Dee Ramone, Jello Biafra, Schooly D, Gary The Retard and Hank The Angry Dwarf) along with “Bikini Bandits: Briefs, Shorts and Panties”.
For more information on Curious visit: www.curiousfilm.com <http://www.curiousfilm.com/>  or contact peterg@curiousfilm.com


No more Cake at Mojo?

Young Guns

From our former friends at Campaign Brief

ALERT - Entries for the 5th YoungGuns International Awards close Friday
October 14th, 2005. They are looking for the youngest, hottest creatives on
the planet who are ripe and eager to please. If you¹re between 18 ­ 30 and
think you¹ve got the big, big ideas that every creative director in the
world wants to see or you're over 30 and lucky enough to be working with a
youngster which makes you eligible for this jolly, go to
http://www.ygaward.com to enter your work and become an ad star.

Deja vu

From the Campaign Brief blog:

"A blog for advertising creatives in Australia, New Zealand and Asia. Post
directly via email to cblive.post@blogger.com - and if you want to remain
anonymous, make sure it does not have an auto signature. Anything within the
message area will be auto published with the subject line as a headline. "

Look familiar? Yeah we thought it was a good idea when we thought of it.
Or is this just another example of Aussies lacking originality.

Break out a beer

This blog, for better or worse, has now earned 2 US dollars in the 3 weeks that advertisers have been paying to appear on it. A quick look at the ad links at 2.20 showed three for various bird flu related services ; The Vira38 anti-viral Family Bird Flu Protection Plan ; A free and straightforward guide to Bird Flu ; the opportunity to learn more about Bird Flu courtesy of Web MD ; and good old Biosecurity NZ, which requires your help to keep New Zealand pest-free. Clearly the Bird Flu post has tickled the right nerves at Google Ad HQ. Connan's Arse, on the other hand, appears not to have excited any advertisers at all, for which we should probably be grateful. Creative Circle blog visits are averaging 150 per day, which is pretty good.

Connan's Arse Off Limits

Due to a bit of niggle, Connan's Arse is now a no-go area for the purposes
of this blog.

War is Peace

New Zealand advertising guru Kevin Roberts has advised the Pentagon how to rebrand its war on terror. "Call our struggle the Fight for a Better World," he says. American marketing magazine Brandweek reports that Roberts, chief executive of global advertising agency Saatchi & Saatchi, inspired Bush Administration officials to replace the phrase "war on terror" with "the global struggle against violent extremism", a phrase widely ridiculed when US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and others began using it. Not surprisingly, they reverted back to "war on terror" despite its obvious grammatical flaws. "They should change their language," Roberts says."'The Fight for a Better World' is more inclusive, more optimistic and more engaging. The 'war on terror' doesn't have a lot of positive equity going
for it."

Frightening stuff.